Summer Breeze, makes me feel fine...

Ah, it's an absolutely beautiful day! And I'm off work! Yippee! Except that I'm writing a paper, pooey. I love spring days. Normally I'm not a summer person, at all. But I do love about 75-80 degree weather. It's just feels good. Gets me ready for fishing and skiing and swimming! Probably should go work on that tan! My white lightning legs would scare everyone away! Ha ha ha ha!
Another reason I love spring weather, my lungs love spring weather! I can breath!!!It also makes me want to get out and do and actually be physically active, as in getting in shape! I plan on running a marathon some day. I really do. Honestly.

Okay, so I really want to change my background. Can anyone tell me how to do this? I mean a whole new template. Thanks!

Got to go write...blah.

The Food Network

I have to make a confession...I'm addicted to the Food Network. I know, I know it's an evil channel to be addicted to. I've about decided anything Paula Deen makes has to be good because of all the butter she puts in things. So not only would you die from a heart attack secondary to the cholesterol intake but you would die with one satisfied yummy tummy! Someday when I win the lottery, I plan on being the next Paula Deen!!!! =) Enjoy!

Bubble Life

I'm beginning to think I should live in a bubble for a while. Yes, I am sick again. So if any one has a spare bubble I could borrow, I would appreciate it. I'm trying to take this in stride and keep telling myself that this is God's challenge for me at this time. I have slowed down like I said I would, I'm taking my vitamins and doing everything the doctor has told me to do, so I'm thinking this is a lesson in patience. I'm okay with that. Things in my life could be a lot worse. I'm very happy to say that I'm BLESSED beyond anything I deserve.

Today in Sunday school, I had a melt down. They were asking for prayer requests and as I was asking to pray for the families of the patient's I lost this week, I burst into tears. I guess I didn't realize how much it affected me until this morning in class. No parent should have to lose their child the way the mother of my patient did the other day. I know that child is safely in the arms of God but I know that mother would give anything to have that child in her arms instead. I know I'm not a mother so I can't even begin to understand what she is going through. All I can say is I will pray for her and hope that God will ease her pain. I ask that all of you please pray for her too. And please tell your loved ones how much you love them.

Well, in addition to my melt down in class, I was very inspired. The discussion was over the last portion of James. It is talking about how prayerful we should be and how in spite of what is going on in our life, whether we are happy, sad, sinful, etc, we should pray to God. I don't pray like I should and agree with Shelly, even one liners would be better than nothing right now. Also, our discussion went perfectly with the sermon. The sermon was about challenging yourself as a Christian and finding new mountains to conquer. So my goal is to increase my prayer life and my mountain I'm going to conquer is yet to be discovered. I want badly to be involved in some sort of mission work. I realize I may not get to do this until I finish school, but I would love to do something now. If anyone has any ideas, please, I'm open to anything!

Last of all, if any one knows of a blue flower that can be used in a bouquet that is not a hydrangea, I would appreciate the tip. Random, I know. Thanks!

"If she want to rock, she rocks, if she want to roll, she rolls..."

Well, it's official, I DO NOT have Mono! yeah!!!

So it's been a pretty rough week at work. I lost 3 patients. Each one was such a different experience and never an easy one. Being a nurse is such a difficult thing when it comes to emotions. You have to maintain professionalism, humanism, sympathy, empathy, and then realism. It is so hard to ask patient's family members if their loved one preferred a funeral home or if they wanted to be an organ donor. It's very awkward. I strongly believe in organ donation. I realize one life was just lost but think of how many others can be saved. It's a beautiful thing in a very difficult time.

Okay, got to get off that now.

I'm trying very hard right now to put off school. I have two papers to write and about 200 pages of pharmacology to read. Needless to say not much fun. I am excited though, my parents and my grandma are going to be in town tomorrow so I will get to see them for a bit.

I have to agree with Shelly Ann right now. I'm ready for warmer weather, sunshine and the outdoors. My feet are getting itchy to go somewhere! If only I had that winning lottery ticket! =)

Well off to the papers I must go.

Mono Y Mono?

As much as I hate to say it, I think I have mono. The dreaded "kissing disease." No, I didn't get it from kissing Luke or anyone else for that matter. One of my co-workers was recently diagnosed and she and I work together a lot, so needless to say, I think I got it from her. It hasn't been fun. My throat hurts almost constantly and I can feel every lymph node from my neck to my ribs. I haven't been officially diagnosed because I haven't heard back from my primary care physician yet. I have a feeling it isn't going to matter. Okay enough on the pity party.

On a much brighter note...I got to see my family this weekend! I love spending time with them. It makes me feel good and right now that is a blessing! I don't think I was too much fun for them but I sure enjoyed them being here. I wish they could have stayed longer, although I don't want to get them sick either. I just wish I could see them more often.

Well as much as I want to keep writing on here, I have to go write papers for school. If only writing those papers was as easy as writing on here....=)

Things I love...

I'm trying to think about the things I love right now because I'm trying not to think about the things I despise, such as theory!!! If ever there were a person who hated writing theory papers, it is me! So in order not to think about it, here are some things I love...

1. My husband. He has a way of balancing me. I guess it's true, opposites do attract. We couldn't be more different yet somehow it just clicks. I love him more and more each day. I think I knew when I first met him, he would be the man I would marry. Scary, since I was only 15 at the time!

2. My family. I'm so lucky to have the family that I do. My family gets a long and actually enjoys spending time together. I'm very very very lucky.

3. My dogs. Even though they drive me crazy and I sometimes want to strangle them, I love them. They make me laugh and they are good cuddlers.

4. Storms. Although my asthma doesn't exactly like storms, the rest of me does. There is something about sitting and watching a storm move in. The clouds, the change of light, the smell, the way the wind starts to blow really hard right before it hits and finally when the sky opens and the rain pours. The best part though is the rainbow afterwards. God's promise, what more do we need?

5. Cookies. My nickname should be the cookie monster, really. I don't care what kind (except lemon and double chocolate), just cookies, oh and maybe some milk with them. =)

6. Ice cream. Mmmmm. Reeses pieces and butterfinger with vanilla ice cream. Heaven on earth.

7. Blankets. Cold weather with a fire in the fireplace and a good, warm, fuzzy blanket.

8. Homemade sweet iced tea.

9. Homemade blackberry cobbler and my family's homemade rolls. They make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside like the blanket makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the outside. =)

10. Fall. The crisp air, football, Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc. It's all GREAT!

11. Christmas. I love the reason for the season. I also love watching other people open presents. I would much rather watch other people open presents than for me to get presents. I also love buying the presents. The thought that goes behind it. Knowing the smile it will bring to whoever it's for. You can ask Luke, I buy him little presents all the time. Normally they involve ice cream or something! =)

12. Music and Books. Obviously not my theory book! Music and books appeal to my imagination and emotions.

13. The little kid that is still a part of me. I love to go swing. I love to play Luke in video games. I love getting sno cones and icees. I love Disney movies. And I love Disney World!

Okay, now I feel better. Theory will always stink but luckily it is for a short amount of time but my favorite things I love will hopefully be around a lot longer!

Harry Potter

Luke and I just watched the last Harry Potter movie and it made me excited to see the new movie. I know there is a lot of controversy about Harry Potter and whether kids should be allowed to read/watch them or not. I personally think that as long as the child knows it is a story and not real life then what is then what is the big deal? Anyways, more I wish I could read the books instead of watching them, unfortunately my Pharmacology book is the only "fun" reading i get to do right now. I know, I know...blah blah blah school. Someday, I promise, school won't run my life! Hopefully it will be kiddos!
Gots to go to sleep so i can absorb my studies! Hope you all are as excited as me about Harry Potter! (July!!!!)
Wilder this one is for you, my little Harry Potter look-a-like =)

When will I learn?

I'm going to the doctor today and I know I am going to get a thorough butt chewing. I don't take care of myself like I should and I know my doctor is going to remind of that.

To all of you who never get sick, please be thankful. Please take your health serious and don't abuse it.

I have a goal to someday run a marathon. I'm thinking it may have to wait until I am done with school. If anyone has any "pointers" I would greatly appreciate it. I know I always talk about school but it is important to me. Sometimes I feel like I place too much emphasis on school. Hence, i think why I am continually sick. Stress has a huge affect on my health. So my goal this semester (I am only going to do one semester at a time) is to spend time studying but also make some time for family, friends, and me, and not feel guilty about it. I haven't told Luke but I really want to start playing golf with him more. I won't always go with him because just like I need alone time, so does he. Here's my "my" time goals, start using my Total Gym, start running again, and do the stuff I love to do! I also want to try new things. Maybe not skydiving but why not bungee jumping? I'm also going to attempt to cut out cokes. I don't know if I can cut out the coke icee's though! They are definitely a treat!

Well now that I have told you all my plan, I better go get started. I hope you all have a good day. Wish me luck at the doctors!

Wilder Willard "Toby" Collins

It has been so long since I have posted a new entry. Life has been a little chaotic since about Thanksgiving. I finished my fall semester of school with two A's! I was very excited the semester was over and that I had actually done well. I was told that was the hardest semester of the entire program. We will have to see about that because Pharmacology (medicines) is kicking my rear end so far!

As it got closer to Christmas, we all found out that my Pappaw was not doing well. As a nurse it was difficult for me to hear this. I knew medically what was going on with him and knew I didn't have much longer with him. It became difficult to talk to my family about it when they would ask me questions because I couldn't tell them he wouldn't be here with us for much longer. We (Blake, Shelly Ann, Wilder, Gwyn, Mom, Dad, Luke and I) all went down to Dallas the Friday after Christmas to spend some time with Granny and Pappaw. Pappaw was in the hospital so our Christmas was spent with him there. When I walked in the room, he finally looked his age. All my life I thought he was "larger than life." Here was this man who played for the Green Bay Packers looking at me with his sad eyes. He knew and I knew it wouldn't be much longer. It's very hard to look into your grandfathers eyes with the knowledge that he and I both know he is suffering. It simply broke my heart. He hated the attention and kept apologizing for being in the hospital. He simply wanted it to be done. By Saturday evening when we left he was so confused and didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Before we left on Saturday from the hospital, the doctor spoke with Granny, Dad, Aunt Sherri and Uncle Terry. Dad pulled me into the room to help explain things once the physician left. By the end of the discussion, I had lost it and couldn't stay in the room. It was too difficult for me. I was very proud of my Granny, Dad, aunt and uncle. They collectively decided to make Pappaw comfortable and let him die peacefully. It didn't take long. Pappaw died on December 30, 2008. I had been at work that day and I guess somehow knew, because I kept waiting on my phone to ring. It finally rang around 8:30 in the evening. I knew before I answered the phone he was gone. Luke and I went down to Dallas the next day for the viewing and to be with the family. I think those days spent with them helped so much. I was proud of my Daddy for letting his emotions flow. I know it was so hard for him and to let it out, I think helped him. The memorial service was on January 5. The entire immediate family was there, all 30+ of us. My Pappaw was a great man and had such a great life. I will miss him greatly but I hope he is catching all sorts of fish in heaven!

Sorry this wasn't such a happy entry but Pappaw earned it. I hope you all have had a good start to your new year. May you all remember to tell the one's you love that you do and how much they mean to you. You may not have tomorrow to do so.