oh my little sweet thing...

I'm decidely married to one of the best men on earth. I'm not sure what other man would put up with my moods, whims, and pure craziness. He is definitely my little sweet thing. He still gives me butterflies and I pray that sensation never goes away. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone was able to have butterflies over their first love and be married to them. What a different world it would be.

So lately I have been struggling with the verse posted at the top of my blog. I know God will guide my steps but my patience is struggling to keep up or to slow down. I'm not sure which. I have all these goals in my life that are very important to me but yet I'm not sure if they are what God wants for me. Am I so blinded by the world that I miss God's completely obvious signs? I pray I am not. Every part of me wants to be a mom so badly but I know the idea of having kids right now would not be conducive to school. See, two goals that are incredibly important to me but so completely contradictory of each other. I keep asking myself though, when will be the right time to have kids? There really isn't one. No one is every truly prepared to have children. So all these plans I have are they as important as my goal to have a family? I guess a truly obvious sign from God would be if I got pregnant. Obviously this hasn't happened yet most likely due to the fact God has a plan for me and I'm not quite in tune with it or I'm looking the wrong way. So please pray for me. Pray that my patience will exceed my expectations and God's will be evident to me.

Thanks.

Favorite State of Mind

I think I have just had quite possibly the best weekend. Blake and Shelly came down with the kids for her brothers wedding to of all people, one of my old volleyball team mates (small world)! I had so much fun. We didn't do a lot but it was nice to see them. My belief that Luke will be an amazing dad was once again reaffirmed. Blake and Shelly had left to go to the wedding and we played with the kids, fed them, bathed them and then started to put them to bed. I was in the bedroom with Gywn when Luke walks in and has Wilder in his arms completely sacked. And as soon as Gywnni saw Luke she went crazy! She LOVES her uncle Luke. He just has a way with kids. They are attracted to him like a magnet to a paperclip! I know he will be an absolutely wonderful dad and someday I promise we will have kids.






Blake, Shelly and the kids left on Sunday morning and about 30 minutes after they left my aunt Sherri, uncle Russ, Granny, Christina, Ryan, and Griffin (cousins) came by. It was nice to see them. Very good to see my Granny and that she is doing okay. We all miss Pawpa terribly but you see her heart break every time she talks about him. I know I would be the same if Luke were gone. It's hard to imagine life without him let alone having to actually do it like Granny. But she is strong and it helps that those crazy cousins of mine keep her busy! Anyhoo, so they stayed a while and then I got to take a nap!!! Yea!!! I LOVE naps! I'm trying to get my energy up for my new start tomorrow. P90X, that's right!!! I'm getting more excited about starting this program because well to be totally honest, I'm tired of being pudgey. Granted I love my oreos but if I can be confident in a bathing suit this summer it's worth giving up my oreos and milk for a while.

So after my wonderful nap, I went on a walk. What an absolutely beautiful day to be outside! There is nothing like walking with your I-pod going. Music makes me want to move! Luke laughs at me all the time when we are in the car because I try to dance in my seat to music on the radio. He thinks I'm crazy. I just kindly remind him, he asked ME to marry HIM. He didn't have to live with a crazy woman. And no I don't deny that I'm crazy. But my philosophy is you got to have a little crazy to make the world a happier place! =)

Well as far as the first day of new week goes, I would say this has been one of the best. Hopefully it will carry on throughout the week. I have doubts that my theory paper will help that much, but I will persevere! =)

P90X or bust?

How many times does it take before one actually sticks to a workout, a healthy eating plan, something actually good for you? Well, I can't tell you how many times I have tried and failed, tried again and failed. I make many excuses, 12 hour shifts, school, the house, the blah blah blah, etc. So Luke and I are going to try
P90X.....together. I'm not sure how this is going to work or if I will be able to stick to it. I'm going to try but I think it would help if I had even the slightest bit of motivation. I have no excitement about this at all. But hopefully by the end of 90 days I will at least have more energy. See...how depressing is it that? All I really want is more energy?!? I should have the motivation or umph to say I'm going to have a six pack and pretty arms and legs! If anyone has inspiration or what keeps you going, PLEASE, I'm begging, share your secret with me!

I will let you know how the program works, how much I like it, etc. Who knows, maybe it will be the revolutionary thing for me.

Summer Breeze, makes me feel fine...

Ah, it's an absolutely beautiful day! And I'm off work! Yippee! Except that I'm writing a paper, pooey. I love spring days. Normally I'm not a summer person, at all. But I do love about 75-80 degree weather. It's just feels good. Gets me ready for fishing and skiing and swimming! Probably should go work on that tan! My white lightning legs would scare everyone away! Ha ha ha ha!
Another reason I love spring weather, my lungs love spring weather! I can breath!!!It also makes me want to get out and do and actually be physically active, as in getting in shape! I plan on running a marathon some day. I really do. Honestly.

Okay, so I really want to change my background. Can anyone tell me how to do this? I mean a whole new template. Thanks!

Got to go write...blah.

The Food Network

I have to make a confession...I'm addicted to the Food Network. I know, I know it's an evil channel to be addicted to. I've about decided anything Paula Deen makes has to be good because of all the butter she puts in things. So not only would you die from a heart attack secondary to the cholesterol intake but you would die with one satisfied yummy tummy! Someday when I win the lottery, I plan on being the next Paula Deen!!!! =) Enjoy!

Bubble Life

I'm beginning to think I should live in a bubble for a while. Yes, I am sick again. So if any one has a spare bubble I could borrow, I would appreciate it. I'm trying to take this in stride and keep telling myself that this is God's challenge for me at this time. I have slowed down like I said I would, I'm taking my vitamins and doing everything the doctor has told me to do, so I'm thinking this is a lesson in patience. I'm okay with that. Things in my life could be a lot worse. I'm very happy to say that I'm BLESSED beyond anything I deserve.

Today in Sunday school, I had a melt down. They were asking for prayer requests and as I was asking to pray for the families of the patient's I lost this week, I burst into tears. I guess I didn't realize how much it affected me until this morning in class. No parent should have to lose their child the way the mother of my patient did the other day. I know that child is safely in the arms of God but I know that mother would give anything to have that child in her arms instead. I know I'm not a mother so I can't even begin to understand what she is going through. All I can say is I will pray for her and hope that God will ease her pain. I ask that all of you please pray for her too. And please tell your loved ones how much you love them.

Well, in addition to my melt down in class, I was very inspired. The discussion was over the last portion of James. It is talking about how prayerful we should be and how in spite of what is going on in our life, whether we are happy, sad, sinful, etc, we should pray to God. I don't pray like I should and agree with Shelly, even one liners would be better than nothing right now. Also, our discussion went perfectly with the sermon. The sermon was about challenging yourself as a Christian and finding new mountains to conquer. So my goal is to increase my prayer life and my mountain I'm going to conquer is yet to be discovered. I want badly to be involved in some sort of mission work. I realize I may not get to do this until I finish school, but I would love to do something now. If anyone has any ideas, please, I'm open to anything!

Last of all, if any one knows of a blue flower that can be used in a bouquet that is not a hydrangea, I would appreciate the tip. Random, I know. Thanks!

"If she want to rock, she rocks, if she want to roll, she rolls..."

Well, it's official, I DO NOT have Mono! yeah!!!

So it's been a pretty rough week at work. I lost 3 patients. Each one was such a different experience and never an easy one. Being a nurse is such a difficult thing when it comes to emotions. You have to maintain professionalism, humanism, sympathy, empathy, and then realism. It is so hard to ask patient's family members if their loved one preferred a funeral home or if they wanted to be an organ donor. It's very awkward. I strongly believe in organ donation. I realize one life was just lost but think of how many others can be saved. It's a beautiful thing in a very difficult time.

Okay, got to get off that now.

I'm trying very hard right now to put off school. I have two papers to write and about 200 pages of pharmacology to read. Needless to say not much fun. I am excited though, my parents and my grandma are going to be in town tomorrow so I will get to see them for a bit.

I have to agree with Shelly Ann right now. I'm ready for warmer weather, sunshine and the outdoors. My feet are getting itchy to go somewhere! If only I had that winning lottery ticket! =)

Well off to the papers I must go.