The White Family Circus

New Year's Resolutions....Or shouldn't they be Commitments?

2012-01-03T10:45:00.003-06:00

Well it's that dreaded time of year again....New Year's Resolutions!!! AGH!!! That time of year where everyone vows to be fitter, leaner, healthier, just all-around better overall, right? And then comes the ugly truth 3 weeks later that you have failed at maintaining your resolutions and you feel like a failure and figure blah, I will do them next year. Come to find out 35% of Americans fail at their resolutions. Why? Well as the article said it is because we set too lofty of goals. To grandiose goals. But isn't that the point? Isn't the point to reach for the stars? I like to think so. I also like to think that I will NOT fall into that 35%. (Here's to optimism!) So here they are....my resolutions (but I really prefer commitments...makes it sound more permanent, solid, real). Just a note, these are very similiar to my 10-year commitment/goals for my 30's. Coincidence? I think not. Obviously this means they are important to me! So here goes!

1. Be healthier. Period. However I need to achieve this whether it be fitness, diet, giving up caffeine and diet coke (eek!), learning how to relax, whatever. Healthier.

2. Grow stronger in my faith. This also falls under the healthier. Because lets face it, if a bible is falling apart, the person who owns it probably isn't.

3. Travel!

And that's it. I think the growing stronger in my faith and healthier encompasses so much of what I want to be that I really don't need anything else.
I hope that whatever your resolutions (a.k.a. commitments) are, you are able to stick with them and that at the end of 2012 you can look back and say "Man what a ride, glad I held on!"

Happy New Year 2012! Let's make it a GREAT one!

17 again?

2011-09-15T14:07:00.001-05:00

I can't wait for this weekend...I'm going to act like I'm 17 again. Wait. Don't I already do that the majority of the time? Hmmmm...gotta think about that one! Anyway, one of my dearest friends is coming into town and we are going to cram so much FUN in this weekend that I will need a weekend to recover from the weekend! Shopping, State Fair, Katy Perry concert, oh my! I can't wait!!!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!!!

About this whole adult thing....

2011-07-20T14:18:00.002-05:00

As I was walking outside today, I heard the cicadas making their funny little sound and it reminded me of when I was a kid living on 10 acres out in the middle of nowhere really (or at least it seemed that way to me). I didn't live there long, but long enough to have good memories. Memories of hot hot summers, cicadas singing their song, the ground so dry it cracked and made odd shaped tiles, a babysitter who refused to take me and my brother to the public pool in town, and of eating homemade ice cream while watching the fireworks shoot off behind the church. Those were easy, simple, good times. Those were times when all I had to worry about was if my brother was going to make a tarantula mad enough to chase us or if my dog would steal my powdered doughnuts out of my hand. Unfortunately we are still in the middle of a hot hot summer and the ground is so dry it's cracking to make those same odd shaped tiles. But fortunately, I don't have a babysitter telling me I can't go to the pool and the cicadas are still singing their song reminding me of that home and all the magic it held.

Rainy days....

2011-06-28T08:33:00.003-05:00

I love rainy days. Love love love love them! Today I woke up to the sound of thunder (and to my in-laws new puppy, but that's beside the point) and I thought "no, that can't be thunder." Oh but it was. Thank you Lord it was!!! We are so desperately in need of rain right now in our state it's not funny any more. Unfortunately we still have at least 2 if not 3 very hot, very dry months ahead of us. But today was a nice reprieve. Maybe God knew I couldn't take much more sun and hotness and blessed us with this wonderful rain. The rain makes me ache for fall. As you all know fall is my favorite time of year. I can't wait to pick up pumpkins for decoration and feel the cool crisp air surrounding me. If I sit back, close my eyes and think about really hard I can sometimes forget how much I don't like summer! It's not that summer is a bad season, it's just really not my favorite. But thank God for rainy days to remind me that summer is just a season and not a lifetime! Hallelujah!!!

It's official.....I'M CREDENTIALED!!!!

2011-05-24T11:33:00.003-05:00

They day has finally come and I am officially the Nurse Practitioner at the Acute Care Clinic for Employees! WOOHOO!!!! Let's hope my first patient is understanding and I don't have a full-blown panic attack during their visit! I'm so very excited for this day but I'm also very nervous. It has been a while since I have seen a patient on my own and made my own decisions without discussing them with someone else. EEEEeeekkk!!!
But it will be a good day. It will be a good week. It will be the beginning of a very good thing. Wish me luck!

Corrine Bailey Rae makes me sink back and relax

2011-05-18T09:59:00.003-05:00

It is yet another day in the life of being a Family Nurse Practitioner without being able to see patients because my credentialing is still not complete. I am however a few steps closer and can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel! Woohoo! I'm a little scared at this point to see patients for fear I have completely forgotten everything I have learned! EEeek! I hope my first patient is an understanding one!

Well it has happened.....I turned the big 3-0! I had to say goodbye to my 20's and say "hello 30's!" I took it well considering I was too tired from watching my nieces and nephew the day before to really take notice! I love those kiddos but man oh man three under the age of 5, I was worn out! I have a new found respect for my parents who watch them on a weekly basis and my brother and sister-in-law who obviously have them daily. Whew!

But on turning 30.....I have some goals for my 30's. I think they are good goals, maybe a little kooky but good.
Here they are:

1. Remembering what it's like to be married without school (oh yeah, that's who that guy is!....Just kidding honey, love you for putting up with me over the past 11 years).

2. Get back into shape. (Oh how I have missed working out and feeling good! Zumba watch out!)

3. Take dance lessons again.

4. Maybe learn to play the piano or the drums!

5. Take a cooking class

6. Find a new hobby...painting anyone?

7. Relearn spanish...or maybe try Italian...or maybe go back to French...this is a tough one, maybe all 3!

8. Have kids of my own!!! (no...watching my nieces and nephew did not change my desire for children of my own)

9. Eat more fruits and vegetables

10. Grow deeper in my faith and hopefully bring someone else to God.

11. Learn how to have a "green" thumb.

12. Get over my fear of spiders (really probably not going to happen but it's worth a shot).

13. Grow in my profession and become a really good FNP.

14. Pay off our debt!

And last but not least.....

15. Just be a better me.....OH and go to Europe!

I've got 10 years to do all this. Some will be easier than others, some way more difficult. But hey 10 years is a long time! Here's to my 30's! Hope whatever decade you are in is a good one for you!

Just to see you smile, I'd do anything

2011-04-13T12:09:00.003-05:00

So after my meltdown yesterday, which I apparently needed to have, I am much better. I feel a little more at peace with things. But what helped more than anything was seeing Luke's smile last night. His first day on the new job went well and he was actually smiling after work for the first time in a long time. I'd pretty much do anything to see him smile. It's a beautiful smile that touches every part of you. I'm still not crazy about him working weekends but if it means he is happier working where he is now, then well I will get over it. Cause I'd do anything, just to see him smile.

No woman, No cry

2011-04-12T13:47:00.004-05:00

Today has been a rough day. After yesterday's feelings of euphoria during the day, last night totally abolished those feelings. Right now is a very trying time for me. It is a time for change and adjustments that I thought I was ready to make but maybe I wasn't. Do I still think God is amazing and awesome and has a perfect plan for me?. Yes. However, I'm severely questioning my side of that perfect plan. I keep asking God, are you sure I'm strong enough for this? Is this really what you want me to do? Is this really what you want to put me through? Can't we find an easier path? And the answer is obviously "yes I think you are strong enough, yes this is what I want you to do, yes I think this will be good for you, and no, no child there is not an easier path." Well there is an easier path but not with Him and that is not something I am willing to give up.
Luke and I are both going through changes in our careers and what I initially thought was going to be wonderful and perfect has come to be something ugly and not an easy pill to swallow. I had all these grand ideas of actually getting to live a normal married life and see what it was like to be married without school, work every weekends, etc. However, God has a different plan. Luke and I will once again be completely opposite of each other on schedules. We will only have every other Sunday off together. So here are the things that come to mind for me....how will our marriage make it through this without one of us living on the other side of the house? How will we avoid becoming just roommates? How will we learn to invest our time together and make it worth it? Am I irrational to think and question these things? YES! But I am a paranoid, soon-to-be 30 year old white, suburban, never had it hard in my life really, girl. I know my love for my husband will not diminish. It hasn't over the past 11 years, why would it now? I worry that his love for me will diminish because he lives with a paranoid, soon to be 30 year old, white, suburban, never had it hard in her life really, girl, who obviously is not handling this change in our life well.
I couldn't stop crying at work today. Maybe it's a good thing I can't see patients right now because I would have been a blubbering idiot. How can a blubbering idiot take care of someone who is sick or hurting? I couldn't stop crying because it seemed that everything had come to a head, so to speak. I lost it last night and yelled at Luke for taking this new job. I yelled at him for what else, I'm not sure. It was just this pent up anger/frustration that had to come out and unfortunately it landed on him. Did he deserve to be yelled at? No. No one deserves to be yelled at, but I did it. Shamefully. To the point I couldn't roll over, kiss him and tell him I was sorry and that I loved him. Pride-it's a nasty thing. So this morning being the coward that I am, I simply sent him a text and low and behold if I didn't somewhat go off on him again. It didn't help that in the middle of all of this, my mother called me to tell me that two people who were very much a part of my childhood had passed away today. Once again I asked, "Really God?" And that's when I got my answer.

I got my answer in the way of a Bob Marley song.

Laugh as you may, but yes, it was a Bob Marley song. "No Woman, No Cry." And just when I thought I had had enough, the bridge of that song played,

"Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright

So, no woman, no cry
No, no woman, no woman, no cry
Oh, little darling, don't shed no tears
No woman, no cry

No woman, no woman, no woman, no cry
No woman, no cry
Oh, my little darlin' please don't shed no tears
No woman, no cry, yeah."

Did I laugh at God and say "okay, I get it!" I did. I had to. Talk about God talking to you, telling you to let go, that "Ev'rything's gonna be alright."

So tonight I'm going to try to walk off my steam, frustration, anger, hurt, sadness, etc with a very dear friend and pray that Luke will be brave enough to step into the house and see me for the scared, paranoid, white, suburban, soon-to-be 30 year old, never really had it hard in life, girl that I am.

And I hope he will still love me for it. He says he will.

"The Shack"

2011-04-11T14:05:00.002-05:00

This is quite possibly one of the most powerful books I have ever read. Not only was it able to evoke almost every emotion out of me, but it also blew my soul away. I think that as someone who grew up in the church, it has always been easy for me to believe in God and all that is in Him. However, after reading this book I realized that I have been going with the flow so to speak, rather than really living my life through God to the max!

What an eye opening experience!

To know God is in EVERYTHING!!! He is EVERYTHING! It makes your heart and soul rejoice! What a warm feeling.....so contagious.

I'm beginning to think that God gave me this time at work, waiting on credentialing, to remind me of what is really important in my life. It's like I can feel layers being peeled away. Dark, dirty, angry, hurtful layers falling away, one by one, only to be replaced by something new and fresh and invigorating! Oh what a feeling!

Ecclesiates 3:1:For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace.

I guess this is my time for breaking down and rebuilding. Here's to souls built on the rock!

Credentialing...please!

2011-04-11T08:11:00.002-05:00

This is week 6 of my new job. I have a feeling it's going to be another slow week for me, however I do get to switch my schedule around a little. It could help! We will see.
I continue to wait for my credentialing and until I receive it, I am not allowed to see patients. Hence, the boredom of the new job thus far. I feel bad they are paying me and I can't see patients. This too will change soon, I hope.
So here's to praying for Credentialing and RAIN!!!!

Rain is a Good Thing

2011-04-07T08:50:00.002-05:00

We so desperately need rain right now in Oklahoma. Each day gets a little scarier at how dry our little world is. I keep praying God will hear my plea for rain, that He will provide a nice week of steady, earth quenching rain. Let's hope He answers my prayers soon.

So on a lighter note than my two previous posts, I am amazed at what God does do when I hand over the reigns. Mind you, this is not easy and there are many times over the past few weeks that I have just wanted to cry and cry some more and then maybe a little more. It's hard letting go. But when you do, WOW, what amazing things that happen. I can't expand on this at the moment but hopefully in the next few weeks I will be able to. I will tell you this....I have the potential to really help a lot of people and work for a doctor that I think very highly of. (And no, I would not have to give up my current job).

Well, here's to a good weekend!

What if?

2011-04-06T10:28:00.002-05:00

What if you're right?
And he was just another nice guy
What if you're right?
What if it's true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it's true?

What if he takes his place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

But what if you're wrong?
What if there's more?
What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig?
What if you find
A thousand more unanswered questions down inside
That's all you find?

What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Than folklore that must be told and retold?

You've been running as fast as you can
You've been looking for a place you can land for so long
But what if you're wrong?

-My friend I spoke about yesterday responded to me. And this is what I would love to say in return without making her defensive. I realize that is not a possibility but wouldn't it be great if we could just get the message across by saying what is really on our minds? By looking at them and saying, "Are you crazy, why would you want to risk it? Can't you see His love for you and everything it brings?" It amazes me that people try to disregard God and his teachings. I can't go through one day and be amazed and what God has done. Look at childbirth! Do they really think that evolution made that possible? Do they really think that the most intricate, complicated, self-sufficient "machine" (aka our bodies) made it this far by evolution? WE DID NOT COME FROM MONKEYS!!!! Science has proven that! Genetics has proven that! I could go on and on but that is not why I posted this today. I posted this really to ask for prayers. Prayers for my friend and prayers for me that I may find the right words to make her at least re-consider her stance.
My thought is this:
If the faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains, I pray my faith can move one soul.

Vocatus atque non vocatus deus aderit – called or not called God is still present (some wise old bugger)

2011-04-05T15:05:00.002-05:00

Wow, what a poweful statement! Whether we want God to be there or not, He is. It was sort of ironic today that I should happen to have posted this on facebook and not two seconds later, one of my FB friends post something about God hating drunkness and how she thought that was funny that God would hate. She is an atheist and I'm sure found it amusing that a Christian person would say that "God hates." I replied to her saying that God does not care if you drink but rather if you let the drink control you. Needless to say I also ended up asking her why she is atheist. I'm very curious to find out why. Probably because I don't think I could ever believe that God does not exist. I would rather be wrong about God existing and not have afterlife than be wrong in believing He does not exist when in fact He does and end up in hell.
So as I sat there contemplating her view on God, I asked myself what would it take for a non-believer to be a believer? What is that turning point? That lightbulb? Am I so naive to think that everyone should know God exists? I would like to think so. And what would I be willing to do to help someone come to that same conclusion? I would like to think anything within God's will.
I've never spoken to someone one-on-one about God because I don't feel like I know the Bible well enough. But really do I have to? I mean God has done some of the most amazing things in my life and I know they would not have happened had it not been for Him. So couldn't my experiences, my crazy unheard of human experiences be enough for someone?
These are questions I often ponder when we are discussing evangalism in church. Yes I went on mission trips and I helped put up roofs and concrete floors, and I sang songs and held little childrens hands but was that enough? Is it still enough? I don't think God's work is ever done and that we should keep going strong each and every day.
So I took that step today and asked: "Why are you an atheist, just curious?" We'll see where this goes.

Testing

2011-04-04T14:44:00.001-05:00

Just seeing if this works!

Life in Motion

2011-04-04T13:59:00.004-05:00

It has been quite some time since I have posted anything. I think I have said this before, maybe a little too much!
Life has been needless to say, busy. I graduated from my Masters program! YEAH! I took my credentialing exam and actually passed! I am officially a Family Nurse Practitioner. I have the papers and everything to prove it! AMAZING! It was definitely a God thing and not a Bre thing.
I have a new job, that I LOVE! The people are great and so is my very own office! That's right, I have my own office! I've actually grown up! HA! (okay maybe just professionally I have grown up, I'm still very much a kid at heart).
So it's time to find a new adventure. I've got some pretty good ideas but could use some more if anyone would like to share! There are also plenty of things to do on my "To Do" list!
In the meantime I am going to enjoy the weather, catching up with friends and family and learning to live again! Yippee!!!

inspirations

2010-08-16T14:48:00.000-05:00

I've decided to start running again for exercise. We'll see how it goes but I'm hoping it goes well. As for my inspiration to get started again...it's a couple of things: (1): Luke-he's been running lately and doing P90X. I'm very proud of him because he has stuck with it and made me want to be good too. (2): Going skiing in December-have to be in shape otherwise the mountain will win! (3): my new running shoes.

Here's to running!

summertime

2010-08-15T10:08:00.000-05:00

Amazing that summer is almost over. It doesn't feel like it is almost over. The heat has been unbearable these past couple of weeks. I like always long for the cool crisp air of fall and everything it brings with it. My favorite time of year starts around October 1 and goes through December 31. There are so many things that I am looking forward to this fall and winter.

In approximately 8 days I will be starting my last semester in NP school. I have a hard time believing this, that I have actually made it this far! It's kind of a surreal feeling.

And as soon as the semester is over, my whole family is going skiing in Colorado! This is something that my heart longs for. I can't wait to spend a week with my family and watch my husband learn how to navigate the slopes for the first time ever. I can't wait to share the magic of Leadville in winter with him. I could go on and on and on about my excitement but I'm afraid it would bore people.

As summer comes to an end there is always my little mans (Wilder-my nephew) birthday. I have a hard time believing he is 4 already! It's amazing to see how much he has grown and how beautiful his heart and soul are. He is such a kind-hearted, sweet little man that absolutely adores his family and LOVES his Uncle Luke (pretty sure the feeling is the same from Luke to Wilder)! I love this little kid with all my heart and might. I love his little sisters, mom and dad with all my heart and might too. They are such amazing people that I proudly claim as mine.

Happy Birthday Wilder Blake!

pilgrams, indians, and corn

2009-11-23T16:31:00.000-06:00

This week marked the beginning of Thanksgiving week, something that should not be overlooked or undermarketed. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for Christmas music, wrapping paper and fun but first you must be thankful and grateful before you can be bountiful. I feel Christmas has become the overmarketed, highly publicized, shopping spree. I feel people have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas which makes me cringe when they completely jump over Thanksgiving without a thought and head straight for Black Friday. I wish sometimes that the world would slow down, take a deep breath and thank God for everything He has given them. Yes I said everything He has given them, not what they feel they have worked or earned for. Without God they wouldn't have the abilities or talents to have achieved such great things. So please let's remember pilgrams and indians who didn't have anything by todays society's standards had more corn than they could imagine because they were blessed by God and knew it!
Okay, off my soap box. I made it through my trip to Alabama. It was a long, tiring trip but it was a nice payoff to play in the Guld of Mexico in November! I only have my finals left, then five weeks of freedom (besides work). And I only have three semesters left before I *may* be done with school forever!!! =) This is definitely something to be grateful for!
Some things I learned last week...beignets from anywhere but Daddy's kitchen or Cafe Du Mont, just don't compare. There really are 6'10" men out there who actually can play basketball. (p.s. I feel quite short when standing next to them). There is something to be said about learning how to suture on a pig's foot. It's okay to make a C on a test every now and then. I DO NOT have to be a straight A student. 14hours in a car with two other hormonal women makes for a long trip but some good laughs too. There is strength in numbers, 140 FNP students have something to prove when our minds get together! I don't like to travel without my husband. My dogs really are like my kids. Alexandria, Louisania has something foul in it's air, literally. Katrina's effects can still be felt on the Gulf Coast. Whataburger has milk shakes that aren't that good. And last but not least, nothing ever worth having was easy to get.
Happy Turkey Day to everyone...remember thankful before bountiful. =)

The leaves are falling....

2009-11-09T18:04:00.000-06:00

tonight is my third test in one of my classes...only one more to go (at least in that class, three total)! I don't think I have ever anticipated a Christmas break so much!!!
The leaves are falling outside and I haven't decided if that makes me excited for the much anticipated Christmas break, or sad to see such fleeting beauty. It's mixed emotions. Christmas is by far my favorite holiday but I think I would have to agree with Paula Deen, Thanksgiving is the real family holiday. There are not gifts involved to spoil the true meaning of the holiday. There may be loads of food but no one really intends to mess with the traditions we have all come to love about Thanksgiving. This will be my 6th Thanksgiving to work. I'm beginning to think that is a tradition in and of itself. I like working on Thanksgiving simply because the unit is normally a little less hectic. It gives me time to go spend time with my patients and realize how blessed and thankful I am. And of course all the cranberry sauce!
Even though it's early, I would like to share all the things I am thankful for this season:
1. My God and Savior who love me unconditionally and gave the utmost sacrifice for me!
2. My husband who also loves me unconditionally (along with my dogs =) )
3. My family who also loves me unconditionally (at least I'm pretty sure they do).
4. A roof over my head that is not just a house but a home filled with warmth, love and joy.
5. My faith...this is something no one can ever take from me.
6. My education...yet again, something that can never be taken from me.
7. My health....because any day it can be taken away from me.
8. My friends....because they aren't required to love and accept me like family but they do by choice.
9. All those things that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
10.Moose, bears, and dogs...just because. =)

well it's almost test time and I had better go repeat my test taking ritual, yes just a little OCD, but it helps with the test anxiety. Blessed to all!

It's been a while

2009-10-31T17:23:00.001-05:00

It seems this year has quickly slipped through my fingers. So much school, so little time with my friends and family. I've missed so many precious moments with my family, it physically makes me sick. I pray each time I open my textbooks that it will all be worth it in the end. That the work, worry and time spent with my nose stuck inside a book will pay off with holidays and weekends off, time at home in the evenings to enjoy my husband, dogs and hopefully someday children. It will be worth it right?
So it's my favorite time of year and the trees have been absolutely beautiful this year! It makes me smile to see God's beauty in the reds, golds, greens, browns, yellows and oranges that surround us. It's amazing how well God knows us, probably better than we know ourselves. As stressful as this semester has been, things that probably shouldn't have worked out, have; and things that probably should have worked out that didn't, did so for very good reasons. I'm reminded each day how precious life is and that only God can give that to us.
Tonight is Halloween and I'm ready to pass out loads of candy to kiddos! It's about to start getting dark, so I had better go get the candy ready! I hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween!

oh my little sweet thing...

2009-03-28T20:08:00.000-05:00

I'm decidely married to one of the best men on earth. I'm not sure what other man would put up with my moods, whims, and pure craziness. He is definitely my little sweet thing. He still gives me butterflies and I pray that sensation never goes away. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone was able to have butterflies over their first love and be married to them. What a different world it would be.

So lately I have been struggling with the verse posted at the top of my blog. I know God will guide my steps but my patience is struggling to keep up or to slow down. I'm not sure which. I have all these goals in my life that are very important to me but yet I'm not sure if they are what God wants for me. Am I so blinded by the world that I miss God's completely obvious signs? I pray I am not. Every part of me wants to be a mom so badly but I know the idea of having kids right now would not be conducive to school. See, two goals that are incredibly important to me but so completely contradictory of each other. I keep asking myself though, when will be the right time to have kids? There really isn't one. No one is every truly prepared to have children. So all these plans I have are they as important as my goal to have a family? I guess a truly obvious sign from God would be if I got pregnant. Obviously this hasn't happened yet most likely due to the fact God has a plan for me and I'm not quite in tune with it or I'm looking the wrong way. So please pray for me. Pray that my patience will exceed my expectations and God's will be evident to me.

Thanks.

Favorite State of Mind

2009-03-15T18:50:00.000-05:00

I think I have just had quite possibly the best weekend. Blake and Shelly came down with the kids for her brothers wedding to of all people, one of my old volleyball team mates (small world)! I had so much fun. We didn't do a lot but it was nice to see them. My belief that Luke will be an amazing dad was once again reaffirmed. Blake and Shelly had left to go to the wedding and we played with the kids, fed them, bathed them and then started to put them to bed. I was in the bedroom with Gywn when Luke walks in and has Wilder in his arms completely sacked. And as soon as Gywnni saw Luke she went crazy! She LOVES her uncle Luke. He just has a way with kids. They are attracted to him like a magnet to a paperclip! I know he will be an absolutely wonderful dad and someday I promise we will have kids.

Blake, Shelly and the kids left on Sunday morning and about 30 minutes after they left my aunt Sherri, uncle Russ, Granny, Christina, Ryan, and Griffin (cousins) came by. It was nice to see them. Very good to see my Granny and that she is doing okay. We all miss Pawpa terribly but you see her heart break every time she talks about him. I know I would be the same if Luke were gone. It's hard to imagine life without him let alone having to actually do it like Granny. But she is strong and it helps that those crazy cousins of mine keep her busy! Anyhoo, so they stayed a while and then I got to take a nap!!! Yea!!! I LOVE naps! I'm trying to get my energy up for my new start tomorrow. P90X, that's right!!! I'm getting more excited about starting this program because well to be totally honest, I'm tired of being pudgey. Granted I love my oreos but if I can be confident in a bathing suit this summer it's worth giving up my oreos and milk for a while.

So after my wonderful nap, I went on a walk. What an absolutely beautiful day to be outside! There is nothing like walking with your I-pod going. Music makes me want to move! Luke laughs at me all the time when we are in the car because I try to dance in my seat to music on the radio. He thinks I'm crazy. I just kindly remind him, he asked ME to marry HIM. He didn't have to live with a crazy woman. And no I don't deny that I'm crazy. But my philosophy is you got to have a little crazy to make the world a happier place! =)

Well as far as the first day of new week goes, I would say this has been one of the best. Hopefully it will carry on throughout the week. I have doubts that my theory paper will help that much, but I will persevere! =)

P90X or bust?

2009-03-13T20:29:00.000-05:00

How many times does it take before one actually sticks to a workout, a healthy eating plan, something actually good for you? Well, I can't tell you how many times I have tried and failed, tried again and failed. I make many excuses, 12 hour shifts, school, the house, the blah blah blah, etc. So Luke and I are going to try
P90X.....together. I'm not sure how this is going to work or if I will be able to stick to it. I'm going to try but I think it would help if I had even the slightest bit of motivation. I have no excitement about this at all. But hopefully by the end of 90 days I will at least have more energy. See...how depressing is it that? All I really want is more energy?!? I should have the motivation or umph to say I'm going to have a six pack and pretty arms and legs! If anyone has inspiration or what keeps you going, PLEASE, I'm begging, share your secret with me!

I will let you know how the program works, how much I like it, etc. Who knows, maybe it will be the revolutionary thing for me.

Summer Breeze, makes me feel fine...

2009-02-26T12:44:00.001-06:00

Ah, it's an absolutely beautiful day! And I'm off work! Yippee! Except that I'm writing a paper, pooey. I love spring days. Normally I'm not a summer person, at all. But I do love about 75-80 degree weather. It's just feels good. Gets me ready for fishing and skiing and swimming! Probably should go work on that tan! My white lightning legs would scare everyone away! Ha ha ha ha!
Another reason I love spring weather, my lungs love spring weather! I can breath!!!It also makes me want to get out and do and actually be physically active, as in getting in shape! I plan on running a marathon some day. I really do. Honestly.

Okay, so I really want to change my background. Can anyone tell me how to do this? I mean a whole new template. Thanks!

Got to go write...blah.

The Food Network

2009-02-25T16:56:00.000-06:00

I have to make a confession...I'm addicted to the Food Network. I know, I know it's an evil channel to be addicted to. I've about decided anything Paula Deen makes has to be good because of all the butter she puts in things. So not only would you die from a heart attack secondary to the cholesterol intake but you would die with one satisfied yummy tummy! Someday when I win the lottery, I plan on being the next Paula Deen!!!! =) Enjoy!

Bubble Life

2009-02-22T13:36:00.000-06:00

I'm beginning to think I should live in a bubble for a while. Yes, I am sick again. So if any one has a spare bubble I could borrow, I would appreciate it. I'm trying to take this in stride and keep telling myself that this is God's challenge for me at this time. I have slowed down like I said I would, I'm taking my vitamins and doing everything the doctor has told me to do, so I'm thinking this is a lesson in patience. I'm okay with that. Things in my life could be a lot worse. I'm very happy to say that I'm BLESSED beyond anything I deserve.

Today in Sunday school, I had a melt down. They were asking for prayer requests and as I was asking to pray for the families of the patient's I lost this week, I burst into tears. I guess I didn't realize how much it affected me until this morning in class. No parent should have to lose their child the way the mother of my patient did the other day. I know that child is safely in the arms of God but I know that mother would give anything to have that child in her arms instead. I know I'm not a mother so I can't even begin to understand what she is going through. All I can say is I will pray for her and hope that God will ease her pain. I ask that all of you please pray for her too. And please tell your loved ones how much you love them.

Well, in addition to my melt down in class, I was very inspired. The discussion was over the last portion of James. It is talking about how prayerful we should be and how in spite of what is going on in our life, whether we are happy, sad, sinful, etc, we should pray to God. I don't pray like I should and agree with Shelly, even one liners would be better than nothing right now. Also, our discussion went perfectly with the sermon. The sermon was about challenging yourself as a Christian and finding new mountains to conquer. So my goal is to increase my prayer life and my mountain I'm going to conquer is yet to be discovered. I want badly to be involved in some sort of mission work. I realize I may not get to do this until I finish school, but I would love to do something now. If anyone has any ideas, please, I'm open to anything!

Last of all, if any one knows of a blue flower that can be used in a bouquet that is not a hydrangea, I would appreciate the tip. Random, I know. Thanks!

"If she want to rock, she rocks, if she want to roll, she rolls..."

2009-02-20T16:34:00.000-06:00

Well, it's official, I DO NOT have Mono! yeah!!!

So it's been a pretty rough week at work. I lost 3 patients. Each one was such a different experience and never an easy one. Being a nurse is such a difficult thing when it comes to emotions. You have to maintain professionalism, humanism, sympathy, empathy, and then realism. It is so hard to ask patient's family members if their loved one preferred a funeral home or if they wanted to be an organ donor. It's very awkward. I strongly believe in organ donation. I realize one life was just lost but think of how many others can be saved. It's a beautiful thing in a very difficult time.

Okay, got to get off that now.

I'm trying very hard right now to put off school. I have two papers to write and about 200 pages of pharmacology to read. Needless to say not much fun. I am excited though, my parents and my grandma are going to be in town tomorrow so I will get to see them for a bit.

I have to agree with Shelly Ann right now. I'm ready for warmer weather, sunshine and the outdoors. My feet are getting itchy to go somewhere! If only I had that winning lottery ticket! =)

Well off to the papers I must go.

Mono Y Mono?

2009-02-15T11:09:00.000-06:00

As much as I hate to say it, I think I have mono. The dreaded "kissing disease." No, I didn't get it from kissing Luke or anyone else for that matter. One of my co-workers was recently diagnosed and she and I work together a lot, so needless to say, I think I got it from her. It hasn't been fun. My throat hurts almost constantly and I can feel every lymph node from my neck to my ribs. I haven't been officially diagnosed because I haven't heard back from my primary care physician yet. I have a feeling it isn't going to matter. Okay enough on the pity party.

On a much brighter note...I got to see my family this weekend! I love spending time with them. It makes me feel good and right now that is a blessing! I don't think I was too much fun for them but I sure enjoyed them being here. I wish they could have stayed longer, although I don't want to get them sick either. I just wish I could see them more often.

Well as much as I want to keep writing on here, I have to go write papers for school. If only writing those papers was as easy as writing on here....=)

Things I love...

2009-02-07T20:10:00.000-06:00

I'm trying to think about the things I love right now because I'm trying not to think about the things I despise, such as theory!!! If ever there were a person who hated writing theory papers, it is me! So in order not to think about it, here are some things I love...

1. My husband. He has a way of balancing me. I guess it's true, opposites do attract. We couldn't be more different yet somehow it just clicks. I love him more and more each day. I think I knew when I first met him, he would be the man I would marry. Scary, since I was only 15 at the time!

2. My family. I'm so lucky to have the family that I do. My family gets a long and actually enjoys spending time together. I'm very very very lucky.

3. My dogs. Even though they drive me crazy and I sometimes want to strangle them, I love them. They make me laugh and they are good cuddlers.

4. Storms. Although my asthma doesn't exactly like storms, the rest of me does. There is something about sitting and watching a storm move in. The clouds, the change of light, the smell, the way the wind starts to blow really hard right before it hits and finally when the sky opens and the rain pours. The best part though is the rainbow afterwards. God's promise, what more do we need?

5. Cookies. My nickname should be the cookie monster, really. I don't care what kind (except lemon and double chocolate), just cookies, oh and maybe some milk with them. =)

6. Ice cream. Mmmmm. Reeses pieces and butterfinger with vanilla ice cream. Heaven on earth.

7. Blankets. Cold weather with a fire in the fireplace and a good, warm, fuzzy blanket.

8. Homemade sweet iced tea.

9. Homemade blackberry cobbler and my family's homemade rolls. They make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside like the blanket makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the outside. =)

10. Fall. The crisp air, football, Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc. It's all GREAT!

11. Christmas. I love the reason for the season. I also love watching other people open presents. I would much rather watch other people open presents than for me to get presents. I also love buying the presents. The thought that goes behind it. Knowing the smile it will bring to whoever it's for. You can ask Luke, I buy him little presents all the time. Normally they involve ice cream or something! =)

12. Music and Books. Obviously not my theory book! Music and books appeal to my imagination and emotions.

13. The little kid that is still a part of me. I love to go swing. I love to play Luke in video games. I love getting sno cones and icees. I love Disney movies. And I love Disney World!

Okay, now I feel better. Theory will always stink but luckily it is for a short amount of time but my favorite things I love will hopefully be around a lot longer!

Harry Potter

2009-02-06T22:14:00.000-06:00

Luke and I just watched the last Harry Potter movie and it made me excited to see the new movie. I know there is a lot of controversy about Harry Potter and whether kids should be allowed to read/watch them or not. I personally think that as long as the child knows it is a story and not real life then what is then what is the big deal? Anyways, more I wish I could read the books instead of watching them, unfortunately my Pharmacology book is the only "fun" reading i get to do right now. I know, I know...blah blah blah school. Someday, I promise, school won't run my life! Hopefully it will be kiddos!
Gots to go to sleep so i can absorb my studies! Hope you all are as excited as me about Harry Potter! (July!!!!)
Wilder this one is for you, my little Harry Potter look-a-like =)

When will I learn?

2009-02-05T08:57:00.000-06:00

I'm going to the doctor today and I know I am going to get a thorough butt chewing. I don't take care of myself like I should and I know my doctor is going to remind of that.

To all of you who never get sick, please be thankful. Please take your health serious and don't abuse it.

I have a goal to someday run a marathon. I'm thinking it may have to wait until I am done with school. If anyone has any "pointers" I would greatly appreciate it. I know I always talk about school but it is important to me. Sometimes I feel like I place too much emphasis on school. Hence, i think why I am continually sick. Stress has a huge affect on my health. So my goal this semester (I am only going to do one semester at a time) is to spend time studying but also make some time for family, friends, and me, and not feel guilty about it. I haven't told Luke but I really want to start playing golf with him more. I won't always go with him because just like I need alone time, so does he. Here's my "my" time goals, start using my Total Gym, start running again, and do the stuff I love to do! I also want to try new things. Maybe not skydiving but why not bungee jumping? I'm also going to attempt to cut out cokes. I don't know if I can cut out the coke icee's though! They are definitely a treat!

Well now that I have told you all my plan, I better go get started. I hope you all have a good day. Wish me luck at the doctors!

Wilder Willard "Toby" Collins

2009-02-05T08:36:00.000-06:00

It has been so long since I have posted a new entry. Life has been a little chaotic since about Thanksgiving. I finished my fall semester of school with two A's! I was very excited the semester was over and that I had actually done well. I was told that was the hardest semester of the entire program. We will have to see about that because Pharmacology (medicines) is kicking my rear end so far!

As it got closer to Christmas, we all found out that my Pappaw was not doing well. As a nurse it was difficult for me to hear this. I knew medically what was going on with him and knew I didn't have much longer with him. It became difficult to talk to my family about it when they would ask me questions because I couldn't tell them he wouldn't be here with us for much longer. We (Blake, Shelly Ann, Wilder, Gwyn, Mom, Dad, Luke and I) all went down to Dallas the Friday after Christmas to spend some time with Granny and Pappaw. Pappaw was in the hospital so our Christmas was spent with him there. When I walked in the room, he finally looked his age. All my life I thought he was "larger than life." Here was this man who played for the Green Bay Packers looking at me with his sad eyes. He knew and I knew it wouldn't be much longer. It's very hard to look into your grandfathers eyes with the knowledge that he and I both know he is suffering. It simply broke my heart. He hated the attention and kept apologizing for being in the hospital. He simply wanted it to be done. By Saturday evening when we left he was so confused and didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Before we left on Saturday from the hospital, the doctor spoke with Granny, Dad, Aunt Sherri and Uncle Terry. Dad pulled me into the room to help explain things once the physician left. By the end of the discussion, I had lost it and couldn't stay in the room. It was too difficult for me. I was very proud of my Granny, Dad, aunt and uncle. They collectively decided to make Pappaw comfortable and let him die peacefully. It didn't take long. Pappaw died on December 30, 2008. I had been at work that day and I guess somehow knew, because I kept waiting on my phone to ring. It finally rang around 8:30 in the evening. I knew before I answered the phone he was gone. Luke and I went down to Dallas the next day for the viewing and to be with the family. I think those days spent with them helped so much. I was proud of my Daddy for letting his emotions flow. I know it was so hard for him and to let it out, I think helped him. The memorial service was on January 5. The entire immediate family was there, all 30+ of us. My Pappaw was a great man and had such a great life. I will miss him greatly but I hope he is catching all sorts of fish in heaven!

Sorry this wasn't such a happy entry but Pappaw earned it. I hope you all have had a good start to your new year. May you all remember to tell the one's you love that you do and how much they mean to you. You may not have tomorrow to do so.

It's official....FOOTBALL is BACK!!!

2008-08-30T16:41:00.000-05:00

I love this time of year. Fall is on it's way (even though we may not feel it weather wise yet), kids are back in school and bringing fundraiser packets to your door, and FOOTBALL is on the tube! I love football, probably because it is so closely related to my favorite season - fall. There is something about wearing a sweatshirt supporting your favorite team while screaming fans surround you on a cool fall day watching as Brenda Gordon would say "all those tight-ends." J/K!!! LOL LOL LOL, she is crazy. Our country is so football crazy I think it's kind of fun!

Well it's Labor Day weekend and it's the first time Luke and I have both had the entire weekend off together in 4 years. We don't have much planned seeing as I have to study for my first test for the semester but at least we have the possibility of doing something! It's also one week closer to the State Fair. =) Funnel Cake here I come! I love going to the fair not only for the food but for all the people watching too. I could sit and watch for hours and hours.

As for work, it's good. The ICU gets a little better every day and not as frustrating. I'm still not sure if I'm an ICU nurse but I'm working on getting there. I do like all of the people I work with but soon I will be the only full-time nurse on, which is a little scary! EEEKKK! Oh well, one of life's challenges that will only push me forward. I think this is where the survival of the fitest applies? Guess I will have to start working out more then. =)

Going back to this weekend...Blake and Shelly were here and it was so nice to have them here. I miss hanging out with them and goofing off. I feel like Luke and I smile more when they are around. =) We had a good time. We didn't do much but it was the time together that counted. I really wish we lived closer to each other but convincing Luke to live in Tulsa would be like pulling teeth from a grumpy bear. Probably, just not going to happen. That is okay, I love my house and I love being close to his parents and sister, so it is okay.

Well studying is calling me. Oh joy!

-bre-

Pathophysiology and theory...hmmm

2008-08-21T22:14:00.001-05:00

Well it's official, school has started for the fall semester. While this is a good thing because it means I am one more semester closer to my NP, it is still school. Boo. I do love pathophysiology but I just haven't been in the school mindset. Theory is an icky subject and not something I consider worth the time. Oh well.

Luke and I are currently watching the men's beach volleyball gold-medal match and I'm lovin' it! I'm so glad people are starting to get interested in volleyball and realize it is a true sport and not something you do at a family picinic. Not that playing at a family picinic is bad it's just not to the level of even middle-school volleyball anymore. It's very exciting to see! Even though Brazil is kicking the US's butt! How do you play against someone who is 6'8? Seriously?!?

Well life as an adult is continuing to frustrate me. It feels as though we have had a multitude of things go wrong at our house and maybe have an end in sight-hopefully. =) Work is going okay. I think I have decided I'm not meant to be an ICU nurse. I will continue in the unit probably until I finish school but I've figured out (which I think I knew all along), ICU is not my thing. Granted I have learned a lot and appreciate it but I miss hearing those blades on the helicopter as they are coming in, and the thrill of getting a trauma or an active heart attack. I know that sounds sick to the rest of you but it's an adrenaline thing.

Anyhoo, time to go to bed, work calls early in the morning! Hope everyone has a good end of the week and weekend. Enjoy!

-bre-

the Olympics--YEAH!!!

2008-08-12T22:00:00.000-05:00

I love the Olympics. It makes me feel giddy inside. I love to hear our national anthem play when someone wins a gold. I think because I have always been sports fan, the Olympics are the ultimate goal. I mean sure the Super Bowl is great but mainly because of the commercials not necessarily the football. Last year was the first year in a while that the Super Bowl actually had some good football. Anyhoo...so I have greatly enjoyed the Olympics and everything that comes with them! Someday I hope to go back to the Olympics. My brother and I were able to go to the 88' Winter Olympics in Calgary and it was AWESOME!!!! Loved it!
Okay, so I am very grateful for the cooler weather we have had lately and the RAIN! I'm not nearly as cranky as I was when it was a 110 outside. =) I wish the weather would stay this way for the next few months then slide right into fall. I would be very very very happy if it would do that. Once again we are one more day closer to fall!!! Yahoo!!!
Well, Luke and I went to Branson this weekend and had a pretty good time. We stayed at the Branson Landing (which is a great new addition to Branson). It is a really really neat place and it was so nice to get away for a weekend. Made me appreciate how special my little four-legged monkeys are!
This week and next week are going to be busy weeks so it was nice to have a short little vacation prior to them. In an update to work I was informed yesterday that if they hire enough people, I may not have to work weekends again!!! YEAH!!! Very excited about this. It may be a while and I may still have to work them occasionally once everyone is hired but I'm okay with that! =)
Also, I start school on monday. I'm ready but I'm not ready at the same time. I'm ready for pathophysiology but not so much on the theory. (boo). OH well, one semester down, one more about to be down!
Well i must get to my wonderful comfy bed so I can put in another day tomorrow!

-bre-

p.s. Shelly Ann, think about the colors you want! Love ya!

Not sure about this whole adult thing...

2008-08-03T22:07:00.000-05:00

I've decided being 4 was a lot easier than being an adult. As a 4 yr old you don't have to worry about who is going to cook dinner or do dishes. You don't have to pay bills or worry about financial things. All you have to worry about is whether or not you get to watch Sesame Street or not. I happen to miss Oscar the Grouch. He always intrigued me. In fact I have figured out a way to be Oscar for Halloween this year. I just don't know that I will be allowed to wear it at work if I have to work. I know I probably shouldn't but i love Halloween. What better holiday than one where you get to dress up to be something other than yourself and get candy for it! Besides, it always gets cold around Halloween and the summer heat is making me cranky. Did you know it is proven that the summer heat causes people to be crankier and the crime rate goes up because of it? I find that an interesting fact. It helps me in fight to prove I'm not crazy! =)
The reason I guess I am so frustrated being an adult is all the responsibility that comes with it. Our stupid dishwasher started leaking, so we called the home warranty people they told us the part we needed was about 1/2-3/4 the cost of a new dishwasher. So we bought the new dishwasher, installed it today, it worked for about 45 min then started leaking just like the old one did. Very very very frustrating. And our air conditioner hasn't turned off all day because it is sooooo freaking HOT outside. I hate to see what our electric bill is going to be. AAAGGGGHHH!!! Don't get me wrong I love my house but why do they have to be so expensive? Sorry I am venting, just frustrated.
Anyways, Luke and I had a good weekend. We went to see his grandma in Kansas and go to the fair. It was a little crazy driving with five dogs in the car! They didn't like the ride too much but handled it well. I think I was just as excited as they were to get out of the car! Anyhoo, we went to the fair on Friday night and had a pretty good time. Once again, it was so HOT outside but we still had fun. We watched the Figure 8 races and ate sno-cones. (Did you know they have a homemade ice cream flavor? It tastes just like homemade ice cream, it was great!). The Figure 8 races were fun. One guys axle broke off! I don't think I have ever seen that in any of the other races I have watched- so fun! And to top it all off, a guy in a station wagon got second place! Ha ha ha, knew those station wagons were good for something! And to end the night, we got a funnel cake-YUMMY! Saturday we worked out at luke's grandma's house all day then drove home. We were pretty tired Saturday night. Today we installed the dishwasher and we all know where that got us.
All in all a pretty good weekend minus the dishwasher. This week, I have a class in Norman for two days, then two days of work, then we leave for Branson! Pretty excited about Branson, hoping it all goes well.
Well I need to go to bed so I can go to class in the AM. Hope everyone has a good week.

-bre-

finally a day off!

2008-07-31T13:05:00.000-05:00

well today is july 31 and once again that much closer to fall. I'm very excited about this! It seems it is just getting hotter day by day and that much ickier. Soon, very soon, cool weather will come our way!
So this past week was my second week at Edmond Medical. Things are going well. I like the ICU and everyone I work with. There are only a few draw backs. One I miss everyone at OU and how familiar I was with everything. I'm just not very patient when it comes to wanting to know everything I can. I know it takes time to adjust to a new job and everything that goes with it, but I want to know it all NOW!!! LOL, I'm just like my mother! =) I also learned I will only not have to work weekends for another 4 weeks then it's back to every other weekend. I am not excited about this at all. One of the main reasons I applied for this job was the fact I knew I would not have to work weekends. Also, they "float" the ICU nurses to other areas in the hospital that are short. I don't particularly like this either. I didn't sign up to be a floor nurse, I signed up to be an ICU nurse. Now....Edmond is trying to make some changes, including hiring more nurses so maybe we won't have to float so much. They are trying to make being a full time nurse more of a benefit than any other positions they have. I do like that they are trying to make their nurses happy. It's nice to know they appreciate us.
Anyways, enough about that. It really is nice to work there. Well, school is over for the semester and I have a few weeks before I start back for the fall. Luke and I are going to be going to a few places while I have the time off to catch up with family. I'm just excited to get away for a few days!
Not much else is going on. I got a new dishwasher today and am pretty happy about not having to do dishes by hand any more! We are also watching my in-laws dogs so our house is pretty much a zoo!
Well I must go buy some water hoses. I hope you all have a good week. =)

- bre-

July and one month closer to FALL!!!!

2008-07-22T21:53:00.000-05:00

Maybe it is completely wrong but I was so excited to see July role around because that means it is one month closer to the Fall season!!! Fall is my absolute favorite time of year! I love all the leaves changing and the crisp cool air. I love being able to wear a sweatshirt and flip-flops at the same time! Oh I can't wait!!! And then of course all the fun holidays...Halloween (one of my all-time favorites), Thanksgiving (who doesn't love all that food?), Christmas (need I say more?), New Year's Eve (one because it's the ending of year and the start of a new; and Luke and I's anniversary-four years this year)!

I was also excited to see July come around because I'm starting my new job tomorrow! I'm a little nervous but also excited to see what all I can learn. Everyone I have met so far is incredibly nice. In fact today the entire group went to eat together! Crazy - I have never had this with a group of people until way after orientation. I think Edmond will be a good thing for me and for my family. I have already planned out my next four weekends because at last I don't have to work weekends! And every weekend I have planned is with family. =) I have worked weekends since I was 15. I'm not sure I will know what to do with my time!

Yesterday was my last day of school for my summer semester. It went by so quickly. I enjoyed the class for the most part except that it did have to do with healthcare policy and politics. Not exactly my favorite subject. I did learn a lot though, which is good since that is the reason I'm going back to school. My next semester starts on August 18 and I will be taking Pathophysiology and Advanced Nursing Theory. I can't wait for pathophys. I LOVE anatomy and physiology!!! Not too excited about the nursing theory but oh well.

Since school is over and I'm finally getting on the unit at Edmond, I will be able to have a little free time for a while....so.....Luke and I will be going to the county fair in Winfield (great little fair) and to Branson with his family the second week in August. I can't wait to get out of town for a weekend or two. I will also get to see my family this weekend and the weekend of Wilder's second birthday. I can't believe my little wildman is going to be 2! And my little gwyni is going to be 1! CRAZY!

Well I had better get to bed since I have a full 12 hour day ahead of me in a brand new unit! Hope we all survive this nasty heat. Remember we are one month closer to Fall! yahoo! Have a good one!

- bre -

Summer time in Oklahoma = blah

2008-06-15T17:27:00.000-05:00

I've decided I'm just not a summer person unless I am allowed to sit by the pool all day drinking lemonade or by the beach. I just don't like the hot. period. Anyhoo, I do love the mountains though! I've decided that when I win the lottery (I have to play first, =) I am going to live in the mountains. It's just very rarely hot there. I think there is something to be said about being able to put clothes on. You can only take off so many clothes before people start talking and the police show up.

Okay enough ranting about oklahoma heat. So I'm very very very excited...I start a new job on July 14th. I can't wait simply because I consider a new job a new learning experience. There is always something to learn and that is what I love doing! Speaking of learning I also started my masters three weeks ago! That is a learning experience definitely. Not just the knowledge I learn but also figuring out how to do all my schooling online! It's most definintely different. So back to the new job....I currently work at OU medical center in the ER and have been there for five years. My new job will be Edmond Medical center (way closer to mi casa) and in the ICU. I am very excited about a new area and a new hospital. Edmond is much smaller than OU and the patients are a completey different breed. And yes I did just say breed. I can't wait to feel something towards my patients again! Don't get me wrong I have definitely taken many many many things away from OU but they weren't all good. I will miss everyone I work with but I'm at the moment trying to convince them that they all need to come work in Edmond. They are all like a second family to me. I think there is a lot to be said about that. Another reason i am so excited about working at Edmond is that for right now I will have weekends off!!!! I get to go to church again and not feel like a heathen! LOL!!! I can't wait to get back involved in church. I have most definitely missed it.

Okay, so not only did I get a new job and start school but I also got a new car and a tattoo! I know, I know a tattoo? Really? yes really. It is on my left foot and it is tiny footprints with Isaiah 40: 28-31 on it. The footprints are from the poem footprints and the verse is one of my very very very favorites.
As for the new car, it is a Honda element! It looks like a baby elephant. So I need some ideas on names. If anyone has any, let me know, please!

Well, there's not much else going on in my life. Luke and I just got back from Tulsa visiting the family for father's day and shelly's birthday. I had a blast. I love spending time with my family. The kids (Wilder and Gwyni) were so cute. It makes me want to have kids, especially to see how luke is with them. He will be such a great dad some day! I've always told him if being a Vet doesn't work, he should go be a pediatrician.

Well i have to run, we are at luke's parents house for his dad's father's day. I hope you all have a great week and stay cool. Remember, Oklahoma heat=bad. J/K.

Live well. Laugh Much. Love Often.

bre

tuesdays with Morrie

2008-04-29T20:23:00.000-05:00

wow it has been a while. I always forget about which accounts I have checked or haven't checked. I guess I should get rid of some! Well it has been quite busy for Luke and I this past month. It seems like every weekend we have had something going on. I like it though, it means that I am connecting with people that I haven't been able to connect with either due to work, winter, or schedules. I was so excited two weeks ago, I was able to spend a day with my neice and nephew and then the evening with my wonderful sister-in-law. Then the girls (my mom, shelly, me and gywnni) went to Ms. Jacksons in Tulsa for a spa day and some shoppping. It was so great!!! Then I got to go a wedding of a friend I have not seen in a while and it was so cute! She looked absolutely beautiful!
Anyhoo...I wanted to share with you guys ( I don't know how many people read my blog other than shell but oh well), a book that I just finished reading. It is tuesdays with Morrie. If you haven't read it you NEED to. It is such a great book on life and what really matters most. I took a quote from it that basically states to invest in people, to love those you love and who love you. What a different world we would like in if we did in fact invest in people. What a difference we could make in someones day simply by stopping to ask them how they are doing and waiting for the answer instead of walking away as they yell it at us. This book made quite an impact on me and especially how I view my job. My job does get to me as my first blog stated, simply because we as humans don't really value each other any more. And I am just as guilty of it as the patient who simply refuses to say "please" and "thank you." I realized after reading this book that my job gives me an opportunity to change that. I have the ability to sit and talk to a patient who may simply be lonely, not necessarily hurting. There are people that I may touch by providing them comfort in a time of need. What a huge change on my view of my patients. I had forgotten that even though they may gripe and whine and be rude, it my be because they don't feel they are any more valued than I. I'm doing my best to change five years of thinking quickly. I'm hoping it changes my outlook on my job and they people I touch.
Well, I guess as "ah-hah" moments go that has been mine lately. And I'm going to finish this quickly because luke and I just got a new toy and I'm going to go play it with him. I still firmly believe any time with your spouse, family and friends is way more important than any e-mail could ever be! Adios and i will write soon, I promise.

bre

ps. I will expand on tuesdays with Morrie later. There just isn't enough time now.

Welcome?

2008-03-24T22:33:00.000-05:00

Hi! Well this is my first blog. I've never blogged before. I know how to myspace and facebook but I've never blogged. It's new, it's exciting, it's a break from work!!! Speaking of work, I wish I could win the lottery and never have to go back to work. There is something to be said about enjoying what you do. It definitely isn't about the money, it's about waking up in the morning and not feeling like you are going to puke because you despise the thought of going to work! I applaud all of you who have taken the leap to do what you love simply because it makes you happy. Anyway, wow what a bad way to start a blog. Sorry. I actually do enjoy my job most times, it just happened to test me today, many many many many times. Okay let me get away from the job because it will only frustrate me more. I started this blog because of my amazing sister-in-law. I have to say I wish I could be near her and my brother and niece and nephew more. I miss them and hope they know what they mean to Luke and I. Speaking of my husband. All I can say is: I'm lucky. All of you should applaud him for putting up with me. LOL!!! He didn't have a clue as to what he was getting in to. =) He's an amazing man and loves me more than anything (except maybe our dogs)!!! They are definitely our children right now until we have the two legged kind! They make me smile. Well, I have to cut this short. My bed is calling me name for the short 6 hours I get before a 12-14 hour work day. Oh the joy. I hope you all have a good week and I think as my last thought, "thank you shelly ann, I think I'm going to enjoy blogging." OH and one more thing..."live simply, laugh often and LOVE deeply."